Rain

[Hell_Cat_18]

~*Rain*~

Rain, rain go away
There won't be another day
Broken dreams are washed away
Never to return another day
Rain drops fall red as blood
Desapear into the mud
Promises made in broken blood
Are lost forever in the freezing mud
Screams and thunder shake the ground
Though niether make a sound
Fist and anger pound the ground
Strange that niether make a sound
Pain and sorrow fall like rain
They fall on the fight to stay sane
Drops of red fall like rain
I'm losing the fight to stay sane
Rocking silent with the wind
No comfort will it lend
Deaf and blind I cry into the wind
No pity will it lend
Freezing, shivering all alone
Slowly drowning like a sunken stone
Cold, dying and all alone
My heart stops like a frozen stone
Rain, rain go away
There won't be another day
Broken dreams are washed away
Never to return another day

[Shinra Soldier88]

Wow, HC... thats about all that comes to mind after reading "Rain"...

[Hell_Cat_18]

Thanx...

[Honeybee]

...well we both have very different views on the rain
i think its almost comforting you think of it as depressing

comments dont look if you dont want:

the poem was good but the last line didn't feel like the right amount of sylables when i was reading it

i like your technic did you learn it yourself?
the

day
away
day
away

thing or did you get it from some where
because when i was reading it it seemed odd at first but then it fit more into it

did you intend for this to be more along the lines of slam poetry?

it has a solid point but i couldnt see the imagry to much, it seemed that the whole thing fit very well with each other so well. But i think if you re-fitted the last line to make it not fit so well it would stand more inconstant

[Hell_Cat_18]

Thank you very much for your comments Honey Bee...I really do appreciate it. I too was a little off set and dissapointed with the last line, and as for the rhyme sceame, yeah I learned how to do it on my own...Nickleback was actually my insperation for this poem.